Wednesday Nights

Wednesday nights became date night for Tate and I. Tate’s whole life Travis had Young Men’s or Bishopric meetig on Wednesday nights, so Tate would get to stay up late to keep me company. Because Travis is gone on Wednesday night’s I try to make sure we have family dinner together and then a nice quiet night at home. I always try to get the kids to sleep early and pick up the house a little, so when Trav comes home after his long night he can feel the calmness in our home.

Tate never wanted to miss out on reading stories to Lexi and Hunter, so we would bring his feeding pump into the kids rooms and he would sit on the bed with all of us while I read the story. He would slap the books and try to giggle at all the funny things the other kids would laugh at. Then Lexi and Hunter would insist on several Tate hugs and kisses before we could leave the room.

I am the absolute worst at sleep training babies! Tate always fell asleep in the arms of his Mommy or Daddy. I remember we tried to sleep train him once by laying him down in his crib, but I ended up crying harder than him so that was the end of that. Wednesday nights after Lexi and Hunter were in bed I would have Tate time. We would talk, sing songs, giggle , tease each other and cuddle.

The last few months of his life he was getting so good at doing the actions to all the songs we were singing. In therapy they gave us these little stick puppets and he would choose a puppet and then we would sing the song. His favorite was by far “Itsy-bitsy Spider”. The other ones we sang were “I’m Bringing Home a Baby Bumble Bee”, “The Wheels on the Bus”, “She’ll Be Coming Around the Mountain”, “Choo-Choo, Dina”, “Twinkle, twinkle little star” and “Row, row, row your boat”. He would end every song with his famous Tate “Yay” and clapping. We would sing all of his songs.

Tate and I would play all his games and then cuddle up on the chair and snuggle until Travis would get home. Once Trav was home he would sneak in a little cuddle time with Tate too while we talked and then we would all go to bed.

Cuddling Tate will forever be one of my most cherished memories. I loved the way he would reach up every once and awhile and hold his hand on my cheek while he looked at me. I loved holding his little hand or rubbing his nub while we cuddled.?I loved the way his long eyelashes would lay on his soft cheeks when he was asleep.?I even loved the big sweat mark his head would leave on my shirt after a long cuddle. My arms feel so empty and they really do ache to hold him again. I have tried to recreate the way I would feel when I cuddled with Tate, believe me it can’t be done, there is nothing quite like it. What a comfort it is to know that I will be able to snuggle my sweet baby boy again someday!