Tate’s Daddy
Travis is the perfect Daddy for Tate! I remember walking out of the hospital with him, after we had just learned that our baby boy was missing his left hand, and Travis just smiling and talking about how excited he was to buy him his first crossbow. He is the perfect example of unconditional love, he loves Tate and it never mattered to him that Tate was different. He knew that it didn’t matter what Tate’s body was like because he was going to make sure that Tate never missed out on anything. And Tate never did miss out, if we did something Tate came with us and enjoyed every minute!
Tate’s little life was full of hospital visits and doctors appointments where he had to undergo some not very fun procedures. Travis was so good about taking work off so he could be there to hold Tate and help him get through all those hard things. It is not easy to watch doctors stick tubes down your baby’s throat and nose and then fill them with liquid just to see if your baby chokes, it’s not easy to hold your baby down so his little legs can be wrapped in casts, and it’s not easy to hand your baby over to a surgeon…but Travis handled all of these things and many more in a way that made it look easy.
Travis has always had a calming influence on me and I think that calming influence was taken to a whole new level with Tate. As a Mom it was hard for me to watch some of the things Tate had to go through without letting the anxiety of it all get to me. Travis could stay calm, even in the most stressful situations, and his calmness would rub off on Tate and I. There are so many times that I can remember Tate laying on the doctor’s table staring up at his Daddy and listening to Travis calmly tell him that he was going to be okay. Travis as we all know likes to be the “doctor” sometimes. This was always the case at Tate’s appointments and because he liked to be so involved it allowed him to be close enough to touch Tate during these procedures. He would always find a way into that doctor’s circle so he could hold Tate’s hand, nub, foot, or face. It was so obvious that Travis’ touch and voice were a comfort to Tate during some very hard things.
After Tate’s surgery only one parent was allowed to go back to be with him when he was waking up. We decided that Travis would go, I knew that if Tate saw and felt his Daddy he would know that things were going to be okay. As I sat in the waiting room the nurse that had taken Travis to Tate came back and told me that Travis was one of the sweetest Daddy’s she had ever met and that his relationship with his baby was very special. She was only with Tate and Travis for a minute and she could feel how deep their love for each other was.
One of the cutest things was when Tate discovered talking on the phone! When I would talk to Travis on the phone a picture of him comes up on the phone and Tate would want to make sure that he could see the picture while he listened to his Daddy talk. He hated it when I would try to hold the phone to my ear, because then he couldn’t see the picture of his “Da, da, da, da!” I know his face didn’t move much, but talking on the phone was something truly amazing to him and I think his Daddy’s voice had a big part to do with that. He loved “talking” on the phone to Travis, and just like our other kids once Tate had the phone he was not giving it back to me.
Once Tate could move around, scooting on his little bum, there was no question of where he wanted to be. The door to our garage was his spot and he would sit there pounding on the door yelling, “Da, da! Da,da!” His favorite part of the day was when he would hear the garage door go up and knew that his Daddy would be walking through that door. Even before he could move around if he heard the garage door go up he would crank his head around until he could see that door and wait for his Daddy to walk in. Tate knew that the garage door sound meant that Daddy was home. He also knew the sound of his Daddy walking down the hall, and hearing that sound would always make his little legs start kicking in excitement! Then once he had Travis in sight it was time for a big hug and Tate would pat his Daddy on the back letting him know that he was so happy to be hugging him.
Like our other kids, Tate learned quickly that if Daddy was around it was time to play and tease. He loved to giggle and play with Daddy and the big kids. That last week of his life he finally was big enough to sit in a circle with Daddy and Hunter and play ball in our family room. Tate was so happy to be one of the guys and I know that he felt like he was being just like Hunter and Daddy. There was never any question…Tate wanted to be just like his Daddy and he was already on his way.
Tate definitely has Trav’s sense of humor and it showed. Peek-a-boo wasn’t extreme enough for Tate and Daddy, so they had to make up their own game…the binki game. They would each take turns holding the binki in their mouths while the other one tried to get it. It makes my heart melt just thinking about the giggles that went on during this game.
When play time was over it was time for cuddles. We have a recliner at our house that is known as “the Tate chair”, it is the chair that the person holding Tate would sit in. Every night either Travis or I would hold Tate until he fell asleep. Tate could never settle right down with Daddy and usually they would have to play another game before it was time to rest. Travis would recline in the chair and Tate would sit on Trav’s chest with his little feet next to Trav’s head. Then they woud giggle, make funny faces and talk. They usually played this while I would get Lexi and Hunter to bed and I remember so many times stopping in the hallway to listen to the two of them laughing together.
Then Tate would just fall asleep safe and protected in his Daddy’s arms. He was always so relaxed and happy to be cuddling with Daddy.
Tate had a way of knowing where Travis was even when we were with a lot of people or in a crowded place. I would sit in church with him and ask him if he could see his Daddy up on the stand and I know he could. I would always hold Tate’s nub and wave it at Travis from the back of the chapel. We would go watch Travis play soccer and I would point Trav out to Tate and he would clap for his Daddy. He knew when his Daddy was around and you could feel how proud he was of his Daddy!
I don’t think I can put into words the relationship my sweet Tate and my Travis have…but if you ever saw the way Tate looked at Travis or the way Travis looked at Tate then you have probably felt it.
As a parent you always wonder if you are doing a good enough job, but I think that the way Tate looked at Travis let him know that he was the most amazing Daddy.
Tate loves you Travis and I know that he is so happy you are his Daddy. Today on Father’s Day ?I picture him up in heaven waiting right by the door screaming, “Da,da! Da, da!” …it’s only a short time for him. I love you handsome, thank you for being the most amazing Daddy to our three little ones.
