Conference Weekend
This weekend is conference weekend. Six months ago was conference weekend too, and the last weekend we spent with Tate. We went up to the cabin with Grandma and Grandpa J and Heather and Allen?s family. Tate was so much fun! He was loving being the center of attention, getting everyone to clap or scream ?yay!?. He was teasing everyone and loving having the twins and so many other kids around. I remember him sitting at his little chair at the table and playing a game with Porter. He would pick up his toys off of his tray and throw them down on the floor and look straight at Porter. Porter would give Tate his adorable little smile and run to pick up the toy and place it back on Tate?s tray. Then Tate would watch Porter walk away for a minute and then throw the toy right back on the floor and wait for Porter to look back at him and laugh. This game went on all weekend. Tate played it with everyone, but Porter would play it over and over with him and he loved it. Tate was enjoying scooting around the cabin as we all chased him to make sure he didn?t go tumbling down any stairs. I remember laying him on the floor and dressing him after his bath. I took him to the top landing, where his Grandma J. was, and laid him on the floor between my legs. Time goes slower at the cabin and so I took my time as rubbed his little body with lotion. I stretched his feet, the way I did every time I dressed him, and took some extra time to tickle him and kiss his little tummy. I just loved his soft skin and rubbing his little nub and his feet. His body was different, but that little nub was just so endearing to me. I hugged him and inhaled his perfect baby smell. I carefully cleaned around his GJ button and made sure that the tape holding it was cut just perfect. I loved just sitting on the floor staring down at my precious boy, in my mind that day it seemed like we had all the time in the world. I remember talking to Grandma J. while I was dressing him about all the wonderful things Tate was doing and how cute he was. Tate looked great and was doing so well, and everything was right in our world. We had no idea that a few days later our perfect world would come crashing down on us.
That weekend is such a precious memory. I cringe when I think how close I came to not going. It was a very last minute invitation and we had so many things that ‘needed’ to be done. Because of that weekend I can never say no when given an opportunity to spend time with the people I love! Tate was the life of the party and the constant center of attention. His special relationship with Porter was so obvious. Tate was turning into a little boy instead of being a baby. I’m glad we got to see the beginning of that transition. His personality was so much fun. It’s such a comfort to know we’ll get to see him again and enjoy beyond the veil what a tremendous spirit he has.
Oh my sweet kids! I miss him everyday too! I long to hear that contagious laugh and feel those true blue eyes following my every move. I miss the hugs , kisses and loves from that little guy. But I know you are hurting so deeply, but seem to push forward and continue to raise three wonderful kids and be such valient parents. Tate wanted to be in your family because he wanted you forever! And you are a forever family and how grateful I am that Tate is yours. I love being Lexi, Hunter and Tate’s grandma and being your Mom. You have made my life full of happiness and love and so that makes my life perfect. I know sometimes it probably dosent seem that way with unexpected events and trials. But I am reminded Brandi and Travis you have a perfect little Tate and that makes me want to be perfect to. So when I am with your sweet family my life is perfect. We will all be together again Forever! I can hardly wait. I love you.